Your Stories

Think you're alone ?

Anyone who knows a little bit about Molar Pregnancy will undoubtedly recognise that these can be very difficult times, often made worse by the feeling that we are alone and nobody else really understands.

So, here are a few of your stories, submitted by community members in the hope they might just inspire those who read them.

If you have a story to tell and are willing to share it with us all then please do not hesitate to contact us by Email.

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Clare

Partial Molar


October 2005 I had my erpc, we were devistated again but we thought it was all behind us and we had to pull ourselves together and carry on.

In November I had a phone message asking me to go back to the hospital asap. We rushed over and the consultant told us that the pregnancy had been checked and it was a molar pregnancy. It took a long time for me to come to terms with this, not just the weekly tests but the thought that I can not try for another baby for at least 6 months.

The possibility of the movement of the molar tissue never registered with me at the time of diagnosis it was all about not trying for another baby as I was 36 years old. Still I did all the tests, and luckily we fell pregnant again and this one was a keeper - little Noah - due exactly a year to the day I had my Molar Pregnancy removed. Keep me informed as I would love to be a part of your website, I found it very difficult to obtain information about this condition ( my sister is a nurse and she helped me ) but there were no counselling or chat rooms and I live in Dundee - which is one of the two sites of reasearch for this condition.

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Karen

Partial Molar


My nightmare began on Friday 26th January 2007 when I went for
my first scan. I was 15 weeks along and had been experiencing severe nausea from week 6 which developed into vomiting several times a day from week 10. I assumed this was normal and although I’ve never felt so ill in my whole life, I wanted our baby more than anything so I lived with it as best I could.

At the hospital during the scan we could see our little baby’s heart beating we could see the arms and legs and then the nurse started asking me questions. Had I had fertility treatment? (I hadn't) did I have an antenatal appointment (no) I asked if there was a problem. When the nurse asked us to wait in a comfy room with a sofa I knew something was wrong.

A while later a doctor came to see us. She explained that I had symptoms compatible with a partial hydatidiform molar pregnancy. We had no idea what this was. I was told that my placenta was 3 times the normal size and that my ovaries were covered in cysts. We were told that molar pregnancies were very rare and in our case even rarer as I hadn't miscarried and I hadn't been bleeding. I don't remember much more as at this point I was crying. My partner was asking about treatments trying desperately to get some answers but they really didn't have any. We were asked back for a scan with a specialist the following Tuesday.

The next few days were horrible. My partner tried to remain positive and scoured the net looking for information. I felt completely numb. The next scan was very clear. We could see every part of our precious little baby. The doctor kept saying 'head appears normal, spine appears normal' the nurse made lots of notes. We were seated in the comfy room again and after a long wait the doctor came and saw us. They were as certain as they could be, that I had a partial hydatidiform molar pregnancy. I was told that if the pregnancy continued I would probably die and that even if the baby survived the pregnancy it would die at birth.

BOTH OF US COMPLETELY DEVASTATED

The only option for us seemed to be a medical termination. I became very sick over the next few days and was kept in hospital until the procedure was complete. I had to, in effect, give birth. We had a little girl 'Abby'.

The following weeks were a blur of hospital appointments and blood tests. My first hcg result with charring cross was 108 000. In total it took about 18 weeks to drop below 5. I'm now sending my urine once a month until 13th December 2007 when I should get the all clear. My ovaries took a couple of months to return to normal and are now ok.

I can't describe the despair we went through and the choices we had to make. I don't really think there was much choice. Neither of us will ever recover from this experience. When I was low I was really low. My brother had a baby last week so I really had to pull my socks up. There really isn’t much support out there for us. We were sent some leaflets from Charing Cross but apart from that nobody has any answers. My hospital didn't so this website is a godsend for people like me who are told they are rare. I really want to be pregnant again.

Roll on December 2007.

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Jennifer

Partial Molar


I am really pleased to have found a website as good as this. I already have two children and was over the moon to find out I was pregnant again as I always wished for a larger family.

I was devastated at my 14 week scan when I was told that my baby had stopped growing and had no fetal heartbeat. After the initial shock and disbelief I was taken into hospital for surgery. I was sent home feeling very emotional and empty inside. I then returned back to work and had to face friends who were pregnant and had babies due the same time. Five weeks later a consultant from my local hospital rang me to tell me I had a partial molar pregnancy I didn’t really understand what he was saying as I had never heard anything like it.

The next thing I knew I was under Charing Cross Hospital for all these blood and urine tests. I kept this a secret and only told close friends and family as it was all too complicated to tell people.

This was February 2006 and I got the all clear to try again in October 2006 which felt like a life time wait. My husband and I decided to try again as we felt this would help us with our grief and help us to move on.

I fell pregnant straight away! What a bonus I thought. I then began to worry a lot about the past. At 7 weeks I had an internal scan and they could see a baby with a strong heartbeat and looked but saw no evidence of molar tissue. I was really pleased and tried to stop worrying. Christmas 2006 was great the day after Boxing Day they were going to scan me again. I couldn’t believe it in my scan they confirmed there was yet no heartbeat. I was sent in for surgery that day and a week later had it confirmed as another partial molar pregnancy. I rang Charing Cross in tears, the chance of this happening again was less than 2% so why me?

I have just been given the all clear again June 2007 but it has been the worst time ever. I have been reading a lot of stories on this website but yet to read any that have had to experience this again.

I now don’t know which way to turn as I am desperate for a healthy baby and find it really hard to cope with the ones I lost. I know they will never be forgotten and I think about them everyday.

Molar Pregnancy is a very sad thing to go through there is not enough support given through hospitals and GPs as they don’t seem to have enough information about it.

Lets hope tests can be carried out in the future to prevent this from happening to us all again.

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Cath

Partial Molar X 2


I had my 1st partial molar pregnancy in June 2005. At 11weeks, I began bleeding very heavily and passing large pieces of tissue. I was admitted to hospital, a horrendous undignified experience. A month later, my consultant told me the diagnosis. He had little knowledge of the condition, and swiftly sent me away with a leaflet and a referral to Sheffield. I began 12 months of urine/blood testing. Fortunately, my hcg was normal after 3 months. The experience, however, left me very distressed and on anti-depressants for 18 months. A great GP, the support of my family, love of my husband, and my adorable little son saw me through.

Then, we decided to try again. I discovered I was pregnant at Easter 2007. I was very anxious. I was scanned at 6 weeks and was overjoyed to see a tiny 'blob' with a fluttering heartbeat. I knew there was always the possibility of a 'normal' miscarriage (as with any pregnancy), but it couldn't be Molar Pregnancy .

At 9 weeks, I had some spotting and was scanned again. This time I saw a 'tadpole' with a heartbeat. I was also told normal placenta was present. I finally relaxed and allowed myself to believe I was having a baby. The next 3 weeks were so happy.

UNTIL MY 12 WEEK SCAN! Again, I saw a heartbeat and my baby moving around a lot. Then I was told the baby's nuchal fold measurement (skin at back of baby's neck) was double the normal. Baby had a cystic hygroma (collection of fluid) which was highly likely to be due to a chromosomal abnormality, eg. Down's Syndrome; or a heart defect. Shocked! After the molar pregnancy previously, I couldn't believe this baby might be seriously disabled/ ill/ life-challenged. Why me? How unfair!

Five days later I was at Manchester Women's Hospital for CVS/amnio. On scanning, I saw no heartbeat or movements. Baby had died. Later that week I was admitted to my local hospital for medical evacuation. At 13 weeks, I was too far gone for D&C. This miscarriage was more dignified (no bleeding all over A&E floor at midnight with drunks watching), but no less traumatic. I 'gave birth' to my tiny baby, the size of my hand, in a bedpan. My husband & I told the nurse that we had seen the baby and she asked, "So are you happy with that?" Stunned, I thought to myself, how can you use the word 'happy' when you are holding my dead baby, in a bedpan, in your hands!

Six weeks later at follow-up, my consultant told me I'd had another partial mole. I didn't think that could be possible after having the scans which showed a live fetus. I received fantastic empathetic counseling during this time from my consultant and midwives.

Yesterday, I sent my 1st of many urines to Sheffield and I cried. I cried for my lost babies and the memory of my experiences. I also cried for the future: knowing the 1 in 6 risk for a 3rd molar pregnancy. Might I not have another baby? People think I should be satisfied with my 3 year old son. I am. He is the light of my life, my angel. That's why I know I need another.

Thank you for reading my long story. I wish you all the best with yours.

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Susie

Partial Molar


I'm so pleased this website has been setup.

I'm 35 and have a two year old boy. I was diagnosed with a Partial Molar Pregnancy in January 2007 and was one of the 0.5% who need chemotherapyfollowing a partial mole.

I had low risk chemo starting in March and ended in May and my levels are normal now. Physically I found the chemotherapy tiring and mentally I held it together for my little boy.

I'm now feeling quite depressed when I should be celebrating the end of treatment. It's almost as if you're so busy getting through the treatment that you don't have the time or energy to think about it all at that time, it's afterwards that it really hits you. When I was diagnosed and receiving treatment, I kept thinking, I wish I could go back to a "normal" miscarriage.  Now I think I'm grieving for the baby I lost. 

I'm looking forward to moving on from this but I want to help people who are going through it now.

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Marrianne

Partial Molar


Hi there, Im so sorry to hear about your molar, and to read your message. I admire your strength on trying to create something positive from this for others, information is hard to come by.

I had a molar pregnancy back in July 1999, seems an age ago now. It was detected at my 12 week scan, I had bled on the saturday, and my 12 week scan was that monday. I had, had a miscarriage Mar 99, so I assumed I was having another one.

I was very lucky as the D&C removed everything, (I had a partial mole)  and no chemotherapy was required.  By the september my HCG levels had returned to normal, so from reading your experience, and from others I have come across I know I was lucky. I just had 6 months follow up of urine & blood samples and in March 2000 we were given the go ahead to try again, (I remember those 6 months as hell on earth not being allowed to get pg)  now however Im a mum to 3. I still have a post it note with some of my levels, I dont have the first lot, but my d&c was July 1st 1999 and on August 3rd my levels were 165,  18th August they were 23, 2 weeks after that they were 5. they returned to normal quite quickly.

Tho devastating at the time, I found it reassuring to be be given a reason as to why the pregnancy didnt work. Ive had 2 other miscarriages and in both case have just been a statistic, usual 1 in 3 pregnancies result in loss etc.

It was very hard at the time to get any information and I mainly used the website address used given to me by the cliincal co-ordinator. http://www.hmole-chorio.org.uk/ tho it wasnt very welcoming back then, just lots of information.

Following the birth of my 3 children my placenta was sent to Charing Cross Hospital, London, for analysis, and I also had routine blood tests.

I wish you all the best with your chemotherapy and sending you lots of love & strength.

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Andrea

Partial Molar


Wow, first of all what a great site, well done for setting it up and giving everyone such an honest account of your story.

I just opened my blood testing kit ready for hospital tomorrow and the slip fell out telling me about this website, I've had a brief look round and I think it’s fantastic.

I was diagnosed just over a year ago (July 2006) with a partial molar pregnancy at twelve weeks.  My husband and I were devastated, I am 35 and it was our first attempt to start a family.  After the D&C my hcg was still almost 20,000 and the following week I was readmitted for a second operation.  Initially my hcg dropped but then soon started to rise again and on Aug 2nd 2006 I was told that I had a trophoblastic tumor and the following day I was admitted to Charing Cross Hospital and commenced methotrexate chemo.  I had it for twelve weeks and was told just before Christmas that my count was normal.

I then had to have a small op for an ovarian cyst that the scan picked up and in Jan I was ready to go back to work.  Then I got the phone call to say I had relapsed.  I couldn't believe it.  In Feb I was readmitted and started EMACO chemo, IV.  It was not the nicest  thing, and I thought the injections in my bottom had been bad!  I finished IV chemo on April 2 2007 and am currently on follow up with fortnightly bloods.

My hcg has been normal since April for whom I am thankful, but it seems an eternity to wait now until we can try again for a baby.

It’s sad in one way, but also so nice to know that I am not the only person in this position and I think this website is just a great idea for us all to use and find a shoulder to cry on when we need one.

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Tracey

Partial Molar


After surgery in January to remove cysts on my ovaries and endometriosis, and having being given a thorough check I was told everything was now ok and we could start trying for a baby as soon as we liked.

Two weeks of trying and we were happily surprised to discover that I had fallen pregnant, and this was confirmed by my doctor who said I was about four and 1/2 weeks. We were absolutely thrilled and couldn’t believe just how quickly everything had happened!

Unfortunately the excitement was very short lived and only a week after finding out I had my first scare when I started to bleed. This happened on and off over the next couple of weeks and after many joyous examinations! At my first scan at six weeks we were told the baby was too young to see a heartbeat and to go back in two weeks for another scan. The fact there was a baby there was a huge reassurance, and I was still feeling very sick which I was told was a good sign, and it meant that my hormone levels were still high.

A nervous two weeks later we could see our baby on the screen, all be it very tiny, but it had grown since the last scan, just as our hopes started to rise, an awful women who did the scan sat shaking her head, when we asked what was wrong there was silence, and when asked again she abruptly told us "its dead!", as you can imagine it was bad enough without being told in such a horrible way.

I was advised to leave the surgery and let nature take its course. Six weeks of walking around with my baby nothing had happened and I was booked in for an ERPC on the 25th May. I was quite poorly after the surgery due to losing a lot of blood and 30 minutes after coming round was dealt the next blow, when a doctor came in to tell me they thought it was a molar pregnancy, but they wouldn’t know for a week or so. Like most people we had never heard of a molar pregnancy, and were absolutely petrified and very confused and were given hardly any information at all.

The following Friday it was confirmed that I had a partial molar pregnancy and that I would be referred to Charing Cross Hospital. Five days after finding out I had a huge blood loss and was taken to hospital, to be told there were still tissues there and I needed more surgery.

I am now five weeks on from my last operation and have just sent my 3rd lot of blood and urine samples back, my levels dropped in the last two sets of results and I’m hoping and praying that they will continue to do so.

I’m trying so hard to try and get on with things and not seem too down, but only now am I really having the chance to let everything sink in, and I’m struggling. Losing the baby was hard enough but I kept trying to focus on the fact we could try again as soon as we were ready, having that taken away from you and having to wait is so horrible, it seems like such a long way away. We've had two people close to us who have just had babies and the jealousy and almost hatred I feel towards someone else is just awful. I am not a horrible person by any means, but I find it so hard to be around pregnant people and even harder to look at a baby, when it's the one thing we want more than anything in the world. My husband is fantastic, he is also devastated but stays so strong for me, he's always smiling and his answer to everything is "don’t worry darling it’ll be fine!” We have such a supportive family too which is great, and the sad thing is I feel like I've let them all down.

It has been such a huge help reading peoples stories on this website, and has made me realise just how lucky I am, and that there are so many other people in a worse situation than myself, and being able to turn to this on my down days is brilliant, so thank you very much!

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Jennifer

Partial Molar X 2


I am really pleased to have found a website as good as this.

I already have two children and was over the moon to find out I was pregnant again as I always wished for a larger family. I was devastated at my fourteen week scan when I was told that my baby had stopped growing and had no fetal heartbeat.

After the initial shock and disbelief I was taken into hospital for surgery I was sent home feeling very emotional and empty inside. I then returned back to work and had to face friends who were pregnant and had babies due the same time. Five weeks later a consultant from my local hospital rang me to tell me I had a partial molar pregnancy I didn’t really understand what he was saying as I had never heard anything like it.

The next thing I knew I was under Charing cross Hospital for all these blood and urine tests. I kept this a secret and only told close friends and family as it was all too complicated to tell people.

This was Feb 2006 and I got the all clear to try again in Oct 2006 which felt like a life time wait.

My husband and I decided to try again as we felt this would help us with our grief and help us to move on and I fell pregnant straight away! What a bonus I thought. I then began to worry a lot about the past. My midwife said I were too anxious and that they would do a reassurance scan.

At seven weeks I had an internal scan they could see a baby with a strong heartbeat and looked but saw no evidence of molar tissue. I was really pleased and tried to stop worrying. Christmas 2006 was great, the day after Boxing Day they were going to scan me again and when they told me there was no heartbeat I couldn’t believe it. I was sent in for surgery that day and a week later had it confirmed as another partial molar pregnancy. I rang Charing Cross in tears, the chance of this happening again was less than 2% so why me?

I have just been given the all clear to try again in June 2007 but it has been the worst time ever. I have been reading a lot of stories on this website but yet to read any that have had to experience this again.

I now don’t know which way to turn as I am desperate for a healthy baby and find it really hard to cope with the ones I lost. I know they will never be forgotten and I think about them everyday.

Molar pregnancy is a very sad thing to go through there is not enough support given through hospitals and GPs; they don’t seem to have enough information about it.

Lets hope tests can be carried out in the future to prevent this from happening to us all again.

Good luck to everyone.

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Gillian

Complete/Invasive Molar


I had a twin pregnancy, with a complete mole so lost a baby girl at 5 months. I have been on methotrexate and am now on Act-D as my hcG is not budging and has gone up 3 times.

I had two lumbar punctures, the disease spread to mylungs as well so they did those as preventative measures.

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Julie

Complete/Invasive Molar


My name is Julie and I am 27 years old and from Sydney Australia.  I had a complete Molar Pregnancy with my first pregnancy in July 2005, my HCG's at there highest were over a million.

It took six months of chemotherapy for my HCG'S to return to normal. My condition sounds very similar to what you have described on your about me page and it spread to my lungs too. I know how devastated you must feel going through all you have been through, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

After my 12 month sentence my husband and I where cleared to conceive, and I am happy to report that I am now 8 weeks pregnant!

I have had a ultrasound and everything looks so far so good.

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Kelly

Complete Molar


I found out that I had a complete mole after what I thought was a normal miscarriage at 10 weeks. I started on the low dosage of Chemotherapy with injections for six weeks, starting in August 2006 at Charing Cross Hospital. Unfortunately that didn’t work and I had to have the higher dose for 4 months where I totally lost my hair which I found very hard to deal with, and like everyone else I searched every where for advice and someone to speak to but couldn’t find it.

I finally got the all clear in December 2006 and 7 months on, my hair has started to grow back and I'm back at work starting to get my life together. I just want to say what a great idea this website is and I hope it helps many women out there.

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A.J Lefebvre

Complete Molar


I had a complete Molar Pregnancy in January of 2005.  DH and I had to wait a year to start trying again.   However I am lucky as there was no return in any tissue.  It has since been another year with no luck of getting pregnant. 

Dh and I are currently waiting on information to see a fertility specialist.  I was told 1 in 1500 woman have molar preg. and they do not know what causes them or why they happen.  I have an immune disorder and have not yet found out if that contributed to the MP.

My doctor said the only way of knowing is if it happens again.  It has been a rough two years since the MP.  However I now see I am blessed to be cancer free.  I am not the 1 % of people the statistics say have to go through that aspect. 

I am sorry to here of any that do.  With me I have already had this pain in seeing others who miscarried at the same time now with children.  I couldn`t imagine the strength you must have to go through that and more.

God be with you, faith is the only thing that keeps my chin up.

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Louise

Complete Molar


I was diagnosed with a complete Molar Pregnancy in December 2004. Reading Meisha's story brought back all the emotions of loss and frustration at having to wait to start a much longed for family.

My sister was at exactly the same stage of pregnancy as me so the torture of seeing her grow week by week was terrible, and then came the guilt of feeling jealous that her baby was growing and developing well.

I was diagnosed after bleeding at eleven weeks and then had to wait three days for a scan. We had never heard of a molar pregnancy before and as the sonographer was describing the condition to a hysterical me and hubby, he decided to pass out on me! Humour even in my hour of need! I had a D&C on New Year’s Eve 2004 and luckily they removed all the cells.

Even then the doctors weren't convinced that it was a molar pregnancy. My hcg levels were normal for the stage of pregnancy, I hadn't been sick, none of the common complaints related to molar pregnancy. However the results came back positive and it was a complete mole. We were devastated. It was the last thing we expected. All the information on the internet was completely factual but there was nothing about the emotions you go through or offering support to sufferers. This site is a fantastic idea.

I was lucky. I had to send samples to Sheffield weekly then fortnightly and then monthly and bloods once after that. Fortunately for me, the only subsequent problem was "The night of the big bleed." Three months after the D&C I bled extremely heavily, passed out numerous times and ended up spending two nights in hospital.

By August when our baby should have been born, we were tired of waiting and being controlled by this thing that had happened to us so against the advice of everybody we decided to stop using birth control and "see what happened." I got pregnant straight away. A nervous three weeks followed before I had a scan and we saw our baby for the first time. The relief was enormous and our risk had paid off. Kate was born in May 2006 and was worth all the pain and trauma.

During those in between times I would cry at the drop of a hat and was moody and unsociable. I finished sending samples in February of this year; until the next baby that is!

Sending love and luck to all those coping with a molar pregnancy.

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B (wishes to remain anonymous)

Complete Molar


I am 31 and have a daughter of 2 and a half, whom I conceived and carried to term with no problem at all. In August last year I had a miscarriage at 7.5 weeks.

I got pregnant again over Christmas and was delighted. I had very slight bleeding at 7.5 weeks and decided to got to A&E to get it checked. Alas at that scan and at a few others, they could not see a gestational sac but a small mass which they at first thought was a fibroid.

As the scans were inconclusive they started monitoring my hCG levels, and found that they went up from 18,000 to 20,000 in 2 days. They called me back in straight away for a D&C on 8 February fearing it might be an ectopic pregnancy they could not detect, or a missed miscarriage. The first mention of molar was post D&C, when what they took out did not look like a normal sac. I then had to wait 2 weeks before I got the diagnosis of a CMP.

In those 10 days they were still telling me it was highly unlikely to be a molar, and that if it was it would a PMP as some pregnancy tissue was present (pregnancy tissue yes, but not fetal. how can a major hospital get it so wrong?).

SO when the verdict fell I was in total shock. I was referred to Charing Cross Hospital for follow-up. Luckily my numbers dropped very quickly and I hit negative in under 6 weeks. Still, each week, waiting for the numbers, I was a nervous wreck. I am now onto monthly urine checks and cleared to try again in August, if I stay under 5 of course. After 15 months of trying, two major disappointments, and the scary experience of being a medical rarity, I really hope I will have a second child soon.

On some days I am hopeful and confident this was just a difficult episode which I will learn and move on from, on others I still get angry and bitter than I was unlucky enough to have this rare disease, which will continue to dominate my life for a few months.

Roll on August.

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Jo

Complete Molar


I had been trying for a baby for eight months with no luck.  In January 2007 I started to have very sore breasts and after having a light period two weeks before, started to think could I be pregnant?  After several pregnancy tests and a visit to the doctor, to my delight it was confirmed that I was about seven weeks gone. 

All was well for about two weeks and then I started to bleed lightly.  I called the doctor and midwife and was bluntly told to wait over the weekend and what will be, will be.  I gave it the weekend and the bleeding hadn't stopped.  Fortunately my Sister is an A&E nurse and booked me in directly to the Early Pregnancy Clinic for a scan on the Monday.  This showed a gestation sac that only looked six weeks.  The doctor said to give it a week and she would scan and measure it again to make a decision.

The following week the scan showed that the gestation sac had doubled in size, but my relief was shortened when she said that the sac was empty.  She booked me in the following day for a D&C and mentioned that a routine check for a Molar Pregnancy would be performed. I was devastated, but made the decision to go back to work and try again fairly quickly.

As soon as I made that decision, I was called two weeks later and asked to go back to hospital urgently.  I had already guessed that it would be a Molar Pregnancy but was not prepared for the lack of support that I would receive.  I was referred to a different doctor who was very vague and I had to ask all the questions to get the answers, he never even told me it was a complete mole until I asked.  His passing comment as I walked out the door was 'Don't do anything stupid like slitting your wrists' - as you can imagine, I was not amused.  Within a month, I was pregnant, was told to have a D&C, informed of a molar pregnancy and his comment just topped it off!

I was referred to Charing Cross Hospital and initially had weekly blood and urine tests done through the post.  My levels soon dropped and the tests reduced to monthly urines.  My last test is 2nd August 07, but I'm more than confident I will be fine and there is no tissue remaining.

I had great support from my partner and my family, but I felt that was where the support ended.  I never heard from the doctor again, all I have done is the tests.  The internet was great for investigating molar pregnancies but I felt abandoned by the medical professionals.

I cried for the first four months, but I'm happier now and am really looking forward for the go ahead to start trying again and putting this all behind me.

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Cheryl

Complete Molar


In 2006 I was admitted into hospital with severe abdominal pain and irregular bleeding. After having a laparoscopy I was told nothing wrong, I was then sent for ultra sounds which revealed I had polycystic ovaries.

After many follow up appointments and poor care in hospital, it was then stated from my doctor, ‘you will not be able to conceive’ Realising now, what this doctor had said was wrong, hence me being on this site!

I’ve had a year of worry trying to get the doctors to explain this to me with numerous phone calls and appointments to the hospital I was discharged from, STILL suffering with abdominal pain and irregular periods!

Then two months ago I did a pregnancy test as I was five weeks out. The thin blue line appeared. After not having an explanation from the doctor and believing I couldn’t have kids I immediately thought I had proved everyone wrong!

I felt as if my whole world had changed; for the better. Because of all the previous complications I was sent for a scan, believing I was ten weeks.

The screen was turned away, and after an internal I felt as if my world had ended. I walked out of the hospital with next to no information. All I knew was there was no baby. I felt so gutted.

Every pregnant woman I saw, I resented. Every baby I wished was my own. These feelings are still strong and with it only being four weeks ago since I had my operation, it’s still so hard. Even a short walk through a supermarket seems like a complete marathon, I panic when I’m out and start getting upset if I see women with a growing belly! Being out on my own is the worst.

Now after visiting, Charing Cross Treatment Centre on the 11th July, I feel so much calmer. I still get the odd jealousy pang I suppose. But I’m learning how to handle things. After being put on a dose of anti depressants, I can see much clearer... however no amount of time will ever put right what I’ve lost, but the pain can only get easier.

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Kelly

Choriocarcinoma


I’m 24, after what I thought was a normal miscarriage at ten weeks, I was very shocked when they told me I had had a molar pregnancy, I was given a D&C  in July 2006 and was told that everything was fine, so me and my partner went away on holidays to get over the traumatic experience.

Whilst in Egypt I started to have a heavy bleed again and was rushed into hospital to be told that unfortunately the surgery had not worked and my placenta was still growing and had turned into tumours.

On my return to England I suffered another massive bleed and was taken to hospital again and sent to Charing Cross Hospital where they told me the tumours were cancerous, but not to worry as it was curable and not like other cancers. Not that that helped! That day was a complete blur and all that I had taken in was the word cancer and kept thinking the worst! They told me my hcg level were 36,000 when it should only be between 0 and 4 and that I would have to have chemo, starting with the low dosage which was an intra-muscular injection every other day for 6 weeks, I stayed in Charing Cross for the first week then was allowed home to carry on the rest of my treatment.

After six weeks my hcg levels had lowered but not enough and I was told I would have to have the higher dose through a drip. When I was told this it completely devastated me, as I know that meant my hair would fall out.

At the time I had lovely long hair almost to my bottom! So, I had it cut into a bob. Everything was fine for the first three months, the hair lose was very minimal and I could get a way with it, but all of a sudden the hair loss was a lot more. I remember sitting in my lounge pulling my hair out in floods of tears. Losing my hair was definitely the hardest part of it all, my boyfriend bless him shaved my hair off for me and I started wearing a headscarf.

On Dec 15th 2006 I was given the great news that I was in the all clear and did not need anymore chemo, I can’t ever remember being so happy!

Its now July and its been seven months, I have now finished my follow up blood tests and now just have to have urine samples for the rest of my life and only have to wait till dec to get PG. I will say that the last year has been a rollercoaster with big highs and even bigger lows! But hopefully I will never have to through this again.

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